Family Way III


His eyes,

I didn't like the way his widened eyes was staring at me, pouring out surprise? suspicion? disappointment?

I let Nneka go.

To protect my reputation I would have loved to explain myself but that would be hanging myself in the long run.

The fact that he didn't say anything made my mental torment worse.

"Well here goes my reputation," I thought as I walked past the head usher, Mr Toba. Nneka stood there still, stroking her wrist because of the pressure I had placed on it.

I heard Mr Toba say something I couldn't pick out to her, it must have annoyed her enough for her to hiss at him and walk out on him, walking past me as well towards the church's compound exit.

Outside the church premises, I took my phone and dialed Laide's number one more time, never to go through. I stopped at a loss of what to do.

My brain was jammed. I could not think for myself. I wanted to lift my eyes to heaven to ask for direction when guilt pulled my gaze downwards.

"How did I get here?" I thought, If I heard a prophecy that this would happen to me, I would have discredited the minister and never listen to such person again.

"It's all her fault."I seethed with hate.

I must have been acting funny because once or twice, church members coming out the gate asked me if I was alright to which I just replied with a nod.

I went down to Laide's house with the guise of checking on her since she did not come to church and met the gate padlocked indicating that no one was at home. I was worried. Powerless at this point, I left for home.

I laid on my bed, head in hands, staring at the ceiling. Memories like motion pictures reeled through my mind.

I remembered when I joined teenage ministry. It had been worth all the while. I found joy and fulfilment there. I never heard the clear voice of God to join the unit but my passion for young people moved me there and teaching God's word in a lively manner endeared me to the teenagers almost immediately. One time I really enjoyed praying was when I was praying the teens because I held them so dear to my heart. The pastor also took advantage of the fact that I came early to church for workers' meeting on Sundays and put me in charge of the Teenagers Sunday school. I was the only youth in that unit. There were two other women who are married. Another attribute of mine that separated me from the rest of the teens counsellors was my ability to listen. While others seem impatient with the teenagers incessant and sometimes rebellious questions or concerns. I was patient enough to listen and use the little wisdom that God gave me to say the right things and procure solutions. I wouldn't credit this ability to myself. The credit goes to my mum who would always fill me with long and sometimes boring conversations . Since I never learnt how to chop off long talk like my brother, who had little patience for gab unless it was football. I learnt the long hard way by listening but it paid off. This made the teenagers fiercely loyal to me. Some of them were naturally rebellious to authority and rules but when I was present, they behave themselves and always tried to be in my good books as I publicly rewarded teenagers who distinguished themselves in one area or the other. In the three years of consistent service in the teens ministry, I had seen God mould the lives and character of the young people and parents were really grateful for everything I did for their children. I had gained the trust of the church because of my good track record.

Then I met Laide.

Fleeting smiles passed my face occasionally, leaving me with deep heavy regret. My eyes watered at some point, boring holes past the ceiling and penetrating into the heavens above and I muttered,

"Oh Lord, have mercy on me."

TO BE CONTINUED...



In case you missed reading previous episodes, click Part I and Part II

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