Bitter Leaf Soup: Roasting Stories III


Good evening people.

I hope your weekend is going on smooth.

This is the supposed conclusion to the Bitter Leaf Soup: Roasting Stories or maybe not.

If you are new here and you want to understand what the Bitter Leaf Soup series is all about, click here. To read up on the roasting stories, click here. Part 1. Part 2

[Recap]

Part 1. I have a flaw of always defending myself and coming up with excuses

It made me to lock horns with my very good friend, Pheno who is very tenacious for the truth.
It leads to a 'roasting' session and I see myself through my friends' eyes and my ego is fried. I identify my defects and begin to work on them.

Part 2: I work with three pre-teens whose relationship was experiencing tense friction that they were sick and tired of but couldn't voice out. I propose a roasting session and they all agree.

It's the Architect's turn to be roasted, she burst into tears and runs out of the library.

[Back to Story]

The moment I saw the tears, I panicked. I saw this coming. I had already prophesied about this misfortune. Before thought could become preventive action, dainty feet were running out the library.

The boys look at each other, shocked, short of words. Throwing glances at my still, silent frame. I frowned slightly, due to  weak taste of regret on my tongue. I dismiss the boys and decide to head home. It was no use trying to look for 'Architect', knowing her temperament, she would be moody all day.
Confronting her immediately will blow the whole thing out of proportion. I predicted she would be calm by the following day.

I did not get to see her until the following evening. From what I heard, she had been quiet as a mouse all day in class.

I couldn't help but giggle. Head bowed, she couldn't help but giggle too.

Children, whenever you warn them against having their way because of the possible consequences, it always look like you are the tyrant, or witch (wizard in my case) who doesn't want children to have fun. Only for them to get their fingers burnt in the end. But, trust me, I was not going to be the one who says 'I told you so'. I'm sure her conscience had done enough nagging.

Her return-giggle was encouraging though, it was a sign that her mood has lifted.

"OK,"  laughing now, I ask, "what happened yesterday?"

After many 'years' of shifting from right to left due to embarrassment, she said, "Before it got to my turn, I knew what they were going to say.."

"OK? Like what?"

"That I'm proud, and talk about myself a lot, and I could be annoying sometimes"

"Hmm. But why did you run away yesterday if you already knew what they will say?"

She shrugged, smiling. She couldn't tell why she did what she did.

Most definitely, nobody has told her the truth to her face and she could not deal with it, so she bolted.

Then I asked her, "All these things you just mentioned, the flaws you mentioned, do you think they are true?"

She shifted side to side again, smiling, "Yes, Mr Emeka"

I smiled, it is refreshing to see someone acknowledge his or her faults or imperfections. This was proof that the 'Roasting' worked. That was a problem half-solved. The other half was to work on them.

Still, I was not going to let her go that easy.
"'Architect', it's good you recognized your faults. Now that you know, you need to work on them. But can I still tell you some other things that I would like you to work on?.."

She sat down now, ready to listen.

At the end, I was glad at the turn out. The children were brought to the knowledge of their imperfections, in such a way that it registered in their minds. I met with them often ensuring they were flushing off the dross, becoming better and equipped for leadership, barely a year later, I was proud when my friends, the King, the Lawyer and the Architect chosen as Junior school prefects. They are still on a journey on becoming the best they can be.

I don't know how the story of the 'roasting' got out (possibly one of the three told other students about it) but the prefects met with me and two of my colleagues, proposing to 'roast' each other. I was there during the 'roast' and I was pleased to see my friends react well to the criticisms. The King was as calm as ever, the Lawyer was less defensive and the Architect was no more a crybaby.

This is was step towards maturity. I imagine how these kids will be in 10 years time and in the years beyond. When I see grown adults who cannot admit their faults or get temperamental when confronted with the truth, I think to myself,

"You need to be roasted mehn..."

I'll end this piece with a quote from English former Prime Minister and statesman, Winston S. Churchill;

"Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body; it calls attention to the development of an unhealthy state of things. If it is heeded in time, danger may be averted; if it is suppressed, a fatal distemper may develop."

I'll be sharing my thoughts on benefits of 'roasting' in another piece. Till then, Let us identify areas in our lives that needs improvement and work on them. That is one way to evolve into a better version of yourself.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Value you.

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