Note to Self

Good evening people!

Monday

How was the busiest day of the week?

Fine or not, in all give thanks. It could have been worse. Tomorrow is going to be a better day.

I know you are all expecting me to complete the 'roasting' story, and I will, it's just that I feel I have to pour out my prevalent thoughts at the moment.

I want to talk about depression

Now, why would I want to talk about depression when the beginning of my last post was centered on Joy?

I should not talk about it when I have just returned from a conference that left me elated.

So what's happening here?

Nothing much,

I just want to talk about depression...

...with my self, to myself

Not necessarily to anyone.

This is a note to self. (But I don't mind you reading)

I'm talking about the down-in-pits feeling that grips you when you swipe through Facebook or instagram and you think your friends look glam and doing stuff with their lives and it's making you think about your own life... swiveling on one spot - making you have the gut feeling of throwing up at the monotonous cyclic motion of your unexciting life, the same throw-up feeling that comes after physically spinning round and round in circles

It's the kind that turns your head upside down when your pray fervently in the morning and still have a miserable day.

Or sometimes, you just had a good time away from home, met lively, progressive people, saw and heard who was doing what to change the world and you return to your corner and you realized your life hasn't changed a bit.

I don't get it...

"Like the word 'success' doesn't apply to me or something?"

Or so I thought

Or so some of us think

This was my reality, a circumnavigation of depression

which starts after I listen to a powerful message, or motivational podcast and I am so lit up, I practically think I have come to the end of the tunnel, only to discover that the tunnel was the mouth of a cliff, and I fall, dashed into pieces on the rocks of despair, only to pick myself up after I hear the next message or motivational speech.

So, let me drag my ears and tell myself,

Listening to messages and motivational speeches are great for thrills of imagining and hoping for a better tomorrow...

Having a vision or dreaming is good, please don't stop. You'd need to keep dreaming to conquer new frontiers

and work up your sleeves too

But hear this one word, Emeka,

Time.

All things great and long lasting, irrespective of whatever principle of life is deployed must go through time.

Yes, every body including, self-imposed mentors who have 10 keys, 20 secrets, 30 do's and don'ts, and 40 principles to whatever success means to them.  All must be subject to time, no matter what version of jet-age that this world evolves into.

Give yourself time, Emeka, even the motivational speaker or pastor had to go through time. As long as you are on the right path, it is mandatory.

The one hour speech he did, had a lot of drafts..some took hours, some a lifetime.

The 2-hour block buster movie had a lot of cuts and retakes

The stage drama with the loudest ovation, had a lot of rehearsals, there is no technology for that....

Your mustard seed faith must grow into oak bro,
Or you think it will just shoot up in growth like that?
No o, This is not the tale of 'Jack and the Beanstalk'

You want something worthwhile without time in the equation? Just go a get a wand cuz, substance devoid time is magic. (I believe in miracles, but most times, preparation made it happen)

Do people have instant success? Yes, but it's more like the springing up of grass, which will have no root and whither soon.

Emeka, look back, you've come so far, you have given up things, lost friends, even good friends that were not necessarily going down your path, you have molted, died many deaths, evolved and still evolving. Stop comparing yourself to others, we all have our individual seasons and timing.

"...for time and chance happens to (us) all" Ecc 9:11

Just keep fanning the flame in your heart, sowing the word, and nurture the dream you've received, amidst the difficulties..

The key word is Consistency. Fail, you would, but you won't give up until you win.

It is all for good, your pain, scars and triumphs, You are witnessing the birth of a beautiful story - with an epic end of victory.

"He that started a good work in (us) will surely complete..." Phil 1:6

Smile, God's got you. You have overcome the world.